yo yo wazzzuupp!
so, today. i didn't went to my choral speaking rehearsal, again! oh i dont know. i really want this so badly. yet, i'm not taking it seriously. I've been thinking about dropping out. i cant do this. today a friend of mine told that the teacher said we gotta memorize the whole script. all of 17 stanza. and yet, I've only memorized 4 stanza. i dont know if the fourth stanza when smooth. this thing have been disturbing me. i dont know whether i should drop out or not. nanti kesian Effah. i'm afraid if she will be all alone. but ya know, i dont want her to effect my decision. OH GOD, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO! help me.
anyway, yesterday when my parents got back from Medan, Indonesia. they brought us A LOT of chocolates. hihi, i love chocolates. my fridge was full with chocolates. today, everytime i opened my fridge. just cant stop watching those chocolates. but i have to control my lust for chocolates. i dont wanna get fat. everytime there's school holiday. i will eat more than usual than i'll come back to school gaining 3 or 4 kg's. hate that! and people will say like 'there's something different about you.' or 'your getting chubbier.' omge, hate that. gotta start diet from now. not just diet. but proper eating as well. i gotta stop eating late at night and gotta eat my breakfast. most of the time in skipped my breakfast cause i usually woke up late.
but starting from now on, gotta start a healthy diet. i dont wanna be fat by the time i'm in college. and i'll meet old friends and they'll say. 'omg Najwa, you look so different.' NOO! okay, enough. making me more stress-er about future. i dont even know if we're gonna have a future. you know, with all the tragedies that have been happening to a lot of country. like tsunami's, earthquakes's and some much more. just cant stop thinking about, are we really gonna have bright future? am i going to college? that question is of course on everybody's mind. i wanna go to college, i want have a degree, i wanna be a doctor. i wanna get MARRIED!
well, that's not important anymore. my prayers are more important right now. if we are really gonna die. and if its gonna be the end of the world. i gotta start change. i should have change myself earlier. and right now, it may be too late. but people say, it never too late for something good. so, i'm changing myself into a whole lot better. i'm starting to be more diligent on my prayers. i'm scared about the world being to an end. so i just finished my dinner. oh godd, i ate so much. even my mother said. 'you eat more than your father!' oh my godd!! i feel so fat and ashamed. gotta get skinny. so, at school i gotta eat less. than i can save my pocket money. control you desire Najwa!