diets and boys

i'm trying to lose weight and try to live this healthy shit kind of life so i've started cycling for 30 minutes straight in the morning & evening. also, im toning down my rice intake, something that is still in progress though because god knows how hard to tone down my rice intake *cries* i also stopped drinking sugared water, plain water all the way. its only been a few days and i am already in pain, mentally & emotionally. it might get better in a few weeks, i guess, fingers crossed. this better give me the results that i want, i dont care if it takes months, but i am determined to make a difference! i've been complaining about my weight a lot, and how i HATE my thighs, so now i am actually taking some actions, yeay for me huh

its not the case of not loving my body, but a little self satisfaction is no harm at all, am i right? this also has nothing to do with impressing a guy, god forbid that. if he likes me, he better like all of it okay. talking about guys, i am helpless and clueless and emotionally unstable on this topic right now. how do i distract myself from thinking about him, just about guys in general. is there some kind of pills i can consume? some kind of injections i can take? i said to myself that i would just go with the flow, whatever happens, happens. but i guess i am my own worst enemy. 

someone save me already, oh prince charming where the fuck are you?!

on second thought, i think i'll save myself. i mean, why would i need someone else to save me? let alone another GUY kan? god im such a fool. i guess there's a rainbow behind this hurricane after all, im gonna fucking invest in myself, im gonna do some self love so hard, i'm gonna pamper myself, i dont need a guy, hell yeah. ok, im so down for this.