those high school friends you promised to always be there for each other, to always be the shoulder to cry on, those high school friends that you plan your future together, those high school friends that you thought were gonna be your forever and always, but in the end, everyone leaves. i cant run away from what it is, i cant escape the reality of it. i wish it wasnt true, i wish it only happens in books or movies, but its real, its happening to me, its happening to all of us. i wish some things can last forever.

i like to think somehow im cursed, in both friendship and relationship. i've always dreamt of having those friends where i've been known them their whole life, those typical cliche friendships like you see in the movies, those friends you go shopping with, you have sleepovers with, you drive around the city at night with.

aku ni jenis yang selalu pindah sekolah, dari sekolah rendah lagi. so when that happens, i meet new people i make new friends. promising the old ones that i'd stay in contact, that i'd still be there for them, that i'm still gonna be their bestfriends. little did i know, everything changes when youre far apart from people. those days, we didnt really knew how to use the internet to stay in contact, me and my friends wrote letters, send postcards, went to their birthdays, go to their open houses. as much efforts as we did, things grew apart, our friendships was left behind, just because of distant. it makes me sad, thinking all the time we could have spent together, thinking of all the sleepovers we could have did, all the photos we could have taken together, all the years we could have gotten to know each other more.

sedihnya ya allah, and thats only one tale, and god know's how many times has that happened to me. new school, new friends, new memories, new everything, just to be taken away like that all over again. distant, made us grew apart. distant made my friendship turn into this, past. oh i wish i could put all the blame on distant, but i too am at fault. i should have put more efforts, but oh how could a little girl back then have known. sure, i was invited to their birthdays, their gatherings, you name it, i could have been there. but you know, parents. again, oh how i wish i could put all the blame on them. i wish.

seeing those friends you said forever & always too, make new friends that they say forever & always too, saddens me, not that im not happy for them but it could have been me and it should have been me.