finally, the post i've been avoiding to write lmao
get yourself all cozy because this is going to be a long one,
i've never been great with words but i still wanna give this a shot, so lets get this started
these past few days has been hectic, crazy exhausting and i loved it! probably cause its a good distraction for myself, you know why, the usual's lmao but to top it off,
2016 is gonna come to an end real soon guys, that's just fuckin crazy! i remember writing a post last year, about 2015 ending here i am, back at it again with the year end post, but for 2016.
oh dear lord 2016 was a mess, but a beautiful i might say, the kind of mess that made you found what you've been looking for, you get what i mean here?
2016 was more than just a rollercoaster ride, i'd like to think it of a drive on elite highway cause you can never know what to expect! for the first few minutes its all smooth and nice then all of a sudden a car cuts you and suddenly hits the break, hah something like that.
because when you ride a rollercoaster you know what you're getting yourself into, but a drive on elite highway, you'll never now whats coming.
that was my 2016, crazy shits after another.
but up to this moment right here, right now, i am very thankful for everything that has happened to me, to every person who has came into my life, whether for just a short amount of time, or is still here up until now. like any other year, i learned a lot this year, especially i learned to love & appreciate myself even more, i learned that loving yourself comes first way before you love anyone or anything else.
when they say nothing last forever, they really mean it, nothing last forever,
instead of dwelling over that, i learned to appreciate everything and every one even more. i lived in every moment, i put my all in everything, when i fall, i fall hard, when i love, i love fully and wholeheartedly. because you can never know whats there today, might be gone forever, and i learned that the hard way.
so instead of crying and being sad for days over it, i learned to just let go, which i still have a long way to go on this 'letting go' journey but i have come very far from where i was before.
i learned that some people were meant to be in your life temporarily, to give life a meaning, one of God's way to tell you that you've probably stray far away from the path He wants you to be on.
some people were there in your life for a short while as a lesson, everything and everyone happens for a reason, it'll never goes to waste, you learn from it.
one might make you the happiest person but can be the reason your eyes are swollen the next day.
one can also be your worst enemy but is suddenly a person you can go to when you're feeling down.
2016 has taught me to follow my heart even more, despite the consequences.
no really, this is probably my most favourite part of myself this year, that i followed my heart more than i have ever been. i was living in that moment,
i was spontaneous, despite still being predictable most of the time, i did what i wanted to do. dealing with the consequences after it wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be.
all that was in my mind in those moments were, i'd probably regret it even more if i just didn't make the move. whatever it was, whether it was wanting to buy a shirt, a shoe, saying hi to a cute guy, going somewhere on a last minute plan, i did it! well, mostly, 90% of the time, i actually did it.
i have to say, it felt really good! you guys should try it sometimes, might scare you,
might make you sweat a little, might make your words stutter and your hands shiver but that's the fun of it! and god the adrenaline of it drove me insane!
i also learned to cut negativity, i've learned to be more blunt of my feelings
if i don't like what i'm feeling with a person or with what 'im doing, straight away cutting it off
what's the point of having those kind of vibes surround you, not the kind of thing i want.
when i know what i want, or what i feel, it'll be very obvious, you can definitely see it.
i want to know where i stand it a situation, i want to know how do they see me as a part of their life
am i a friend? am i a lover? or am i just someone you find for fun?
i don't mind any of these but tell me, tell me so that i don't hope, so that i don't wander around aimlessly
i know what i want and i go for it, i don't want to miss the opportunity to get to know a person,
i don't want to miss an opportunity to be a part of something.
most of my friends tell me i'm going way too fast, i should take it slow & steady,
maybe they're right, but who's got the time for that, i'm not getting any younger, time is never gonna slow down, and surely nothing last forever, if it was fun then, so why not, at least i got a taste of it.
i also learned reminiscing is not a bad thing but don't let it affect what you have now and what you will have in the future.
don't let it drown you, don't let it eat you up. i'm the kind of person who's very nostalgic, who keeps photos & conversation from the past, hoping that someday it'll happen again.
whether it was a lover, a friend or just about anything. i like to look back and smile, sometimes i cry.
but i learned to not it affect my present (somehow still in the process but i'll get there)
as if for right now, i still have no plans for the future, sure i might know what i want but i still just go with the flow. i have no future planning, and i believe, he can save the world (did u read it in Katara's voice tho hahahahaha) (the last Airbender reference okbye)
ok anyway what i meant is, i don't want think about whats to come 3 to 4 years later, anything can change in between those time and i'm up for changes, i'm open for it, hit me up!
i don't wanna worry too much, because i do tend to worry a lot tau,
so i let myself to just go with the flow, if its meant to be, even if it was beneath mountains, it'll still be yours kan? so why worry, just focus where you are now, focus on the people you have now.
2016 was also the year i learned that things are never as what they seemed, which include people too
some things seemed okay at that moment, but all of a sudden it hits you with a pang!
and some people may seemed all pure & innocent but they never were, even since the beginning,
and some might seemed so not the type of people you'd hang out with but once you get to know them, they're like the caramel syrup to your cake you never knew you needed!
what i'm trying to say here is, everything always has a story to it, 2 sides of the coin.
i knew it long time ago, but never had first had experience with it, but now i have.
definitely an eye opener for me, that is why i'm always up & open for anything & anyone,
because i want to know! so eager to learn new things, explore new place and get to know more people! obviously i have a long, long way to go but i'm more prepared now, not much but definitely on the look out!
2016 was just a round off a great year for me, i met a lot of new people! very exciting ones!
the ones that challenges me, the ones that pushes me, the ones that i didn't knew i even needed in my life. and my aim for 2016 was to be a little more adventurous and i did!
even it was not that much of an adventure, but hey, there was progress, slowly but surely.
i learned to never settle for less than anything i deserved, in that little heart of yours, you know you deserve the best, you deserve as much as those efforts you've put it, maybe just even more!
2016, you've been amazing, you've been one heck of a year, you've been crazy shit ass fun!
thank you Allah for another year, thank you.