I am a person who clings onto things, and people, I think I might have attachment issues but I'd rather see it as being sentimental, VERY sentimental, and it isn't totally a bad thing.
I'll talk about those things and people like my life depends on it, remember that time I said I wasn't a beach person? and I went to Pulau Perhentian for the first time ever and it was life changing? yeah, that kind of sentimental I'm talking about here. I don't think I'll ever forget how Pulau Perhentian made me feel, how much that whole experience was phenomenal, to most it might seem rather funny how that small trip might leave a big impact but to me it meant so much. And that is how most of the things in my life works, first time I had Kyochon fried chicken? MONUMENTAL.
I remember going to this ibadah camp thingy when I was 10/11, it was for 4 days, and I made some really good friends there, and up until today I can still have bits & pieces of those memories, looking clear as a blue sky.
Every single time I went to a school camp, I'll always have a hard time saying goodbye, felt like I wanted to hold on to it just a little longer. Just like my college life, the first 2 years, it was so much fun because I had all of my friends together in class, we'd go to lunch together, assignments in the same group, we literally spent every weekend together, and now that its all ending, i'm still in disbelieve, disbelieve of how much I have grown, how much of my friends have grown.
I know at some point I need to face the fact that things DO change, which sucks, so bad, but they do, like it or not, (can I just say I am writing all of these down with tears in my eyes because im emotional as shit tonight) people come and go, the childhood friends you used to grow up with are no longer a part of your life, that gameboy you used to play harvestmoon on grows out of you, sooner or later reality will hit you, hit me, and all of us. Dying is not the scariest thing, but living life alone is, no friends to celebrate birthdays with, or take a trip to the nearest mall just to get tealive, idk man to some this may be insignificant because their life doesn't revolve around others, but all of this is makes me feel, heartbroken, in a way, because being surrounded by good people, by my family & friends makes me happy.
I know its been more than a year I've posted anything on here, and EVERY. SINGLE. TIME im here, its always some sappy depressing post lol. a lot has happened in the last 14 months, A LOT. I got myself a boyfriend, thank god this one stayed (for now), went on a trip to Melbourne with my girlfriends, manage to score myself an internship placement at my dream company, TURNED 23 HOLY SHIT, also met really really worth-dying-for human beings, explored myself a little more and manage to navigate these emotions better. I've lost a few good friends too, I was torn, my heart was sad for many days but I also thought to myself, Allah will only put people in our lives who are worth being in it. Like everything else in my life, I don't have any regrets, as sad as it has to be, people just grow apart, whether it was intentional or the otherwise, there's nothing I can do, or even want to do.
I feel better now, like I always do after writing a post. I hope god bless every one of you with all the beautiful things in life, may Allah life those heavy weights in your heart & grant you peacefulness. Stay hydrated guys, and Salam Ramadan to my fellow brothers & sisters, may this Ramadan bring prosperity and abundance of love.