im the kind of  type who holds on to memories

that is why i have a hard time moving on, that is why i have a hard time accepting new people, new love. because i build walls, i build walls to guard these memories ive been keeping. i would look back and smile to myself, reminded by the memories of the past, not wanting to look ahead of the future, because im scared, scared of the future, scared that it might turned out not the way i want it to be, and i cant accept that, i cant accept the truth about life, so i end up living in the past

as much as it hurts me, as much as my soul is suffering, i still hold on. probably because im hoping for it to happen again, for the good old days to come again. the fear of letting go fills my body and soul. for instance, the memories with a person i used to love. i might not love them anymore but i hold on to the memories, just because it makes me smile, it lights up my days. just because i missed what they did to me and how they made me felt. how shivers run down my spine and butterflies occupies my empty stomach when they smile. how their voices remain still in my head.

i hold on to memories and thats what i do best. scared of letting go because i might never experience them again. hold on to it because deep down in my heart, hoping for those memories to be played again