unloved

“love till you can no longer love” 
is something i read somewhere and it has been what i hold on too, 
ive tried so many ways to move on, to forget, to walk away,

i’ve cried my heart out till i no longer can cry anymore, 
my tears are all dried up for him, a
my heart is all worn out because of him,

I have never declined my feelings even after what happened, 

I have never walked away from the images of him, of us, 

I acknowledge his presence and the footsteps he left in my life.

no matter how many people have taught me the ways of moving on, 
the tricks to forgetting someone, even a list of what I can do in order to distract myself from what was happening, 
it just wasn't me, I thought I was one who let go in a snap of a finger, but turns out I was not a person who forgets so easily, especially when it involves my emotions & my heart.


and so I did it my way, I loved him still, I looked at photos of him, smiled at his videos, the sound of his giggles echos through my mind every single day, cried every time I reread the texts we exchanged, the I love yous that was thrown at each other, the I miss you every second we tell one another, 
I endured it, I felt it, I felt it so hard till I no longer felt anything, till I no longer crave for his presence until I no longer feel him in every inch of my skin, no more shivers down my spine.
he is now absence in every part of my body.


I guess its safe to say he still crosses my mind once in a while but thats just about it, never more yet never less. 

you can never really "unlove" someone, they will forever have a place in your life, even if its in your past, 
you just find someone better to love, someone much more worthy of your love & affection, 
someone who deserves all the beautiful things embedded in you,
you can never truly "unlove" a person, you just find someone new.