I was reading Vivy Yusof's blog the other day, and I know how crazy hard working she is, and she deserves all that she gets because from the looks of it, she works damn hard, I shall not discredit her for that, although she has had a solid starting base and a stable push up from her family (especially her dad), at least she makes something out of it right? agree to disagree lol anyway, moving on
just made me realise those are the people that my parents look up too, a person probably most gen Zs expect their child to grow into.
My parents, undoubtedly expect me to grow as far and as wide as she has gone, of course I don't blame them (much), well because as parents, they would want the best for their children, and in their heads, more wealth is the best (or so they think), but real talk, is more money a good thing?
I mean sure, you'd get to go to places, you'd get to travel the world, you get to buy nice luxuries things, or non luxuries things, because with money (and power), you can do & buy whatever you want. but is wealth the final destinations everyone aims for?
Is money the sole reason you wake up every morning, take a shower and do whatever that you do?
For a very long time, even up until now, money has always been a strong motivation in whatever I do, but it is starting to grow out of me now, the perfect illusion I have drawn for myself is becoming much more of a blur.
This concept that the society has for my generation and probably for all the next generations to come, is for us to always hustle, hustle and keep hustling till death do us part, which is exhausting, stressful and unhealthy. because that is how most of the adults around me expect from me, my parents, my grandmother, even my aunts & uncles, isn't that just absolute mental.
To excel in school, do good in our curriculums, to be an all rounded student, graduate high school with good results, graduate college then continue our master/phds, hustle with work so you could get married and have a good life bla bla bla, a fucking cliche story plot.
The adults create this perfect image for us, not realising its OUR body & mind that will go through it all.
Money and wealth may not be my ultimate goal anymore, of course it is still in our agenda but no longer the main inducement in my life. I just crave for stability, stability in life, in career, in everything that I do, I want & need stability.
I want to experience, learn, grow at my own rhythm, through my own eyes and not's somebody else's projections. Let me make mistakes, fall, bend & break, so I'll get up when I want too, how I want too. They are so afraid of letting us make mistakes because they don't want us to fail, because in there minds, failing leads to interruptions to our goals.
The reason for my writing today is because I am just so sick of being put in a spot where being here was never my intention in the first place, being thrown with things I never claim to have been or will ever be.
Life pushes you to places you never want to be in and it makes you stronger but this time, this ideology they have, just drains out the life in me, in us, in everyone. Let us decide what we want to do, let me decide my own way of experiencing and growing, let me take a step back, breath in and decide where life takes me next. I want to ride the boat and let the water take me wherever it shall take me, screw everything else.
And to end that, I'm still stuck in the office, trying to make a living, trying to satisfy my parents, and the people around me, contradicting with what I just preached. But someday I will make peace with myself, it's just going to take a while, and until then, stay hydrated my friends.