I am closing in 22 years of living and I seriously don't know what I doing with my life, sure I've got a job, and currently ending my second year of degree but to be honest with you, that is all just a routine. when people ask me where do I see myself in 5 years, I don't have a solid or specific answer to that because I seriously dont where will I be standing in 5 years time, I dont even fucking know where I'll stand in a year.
sure buying a house, settling down with a family, having a stable income is all on the list but genuinely, I dont what am I doing with my life or where am I heading personally. how am I growing as a person? am I contributing any good to the people around me? and it could go on and on.
life is like a wheel they say, once you're up and then you're down, and its always turning,
giving everybody chance to feel at the top of the world today, and suddenly beneath the hole tomorrow, well fuck the wheel, why can't I sit on a stationary wheel, that way it won't have to move, and everybody could sit on top at all time.
maybe right now all of these thought are coming from a dark and emotional place, but I am not joking when I say I dont know where I see myself in 5 years time.
I want a lot of things, but its all blurry, and the destination I am heading towards, is constantly changing, my path is constantly evolving, either thats bad thing or a good thing, I dont even know. I know there's is so much opportunities that lie ahead of me, good things happen to those who take actions, and in my heart I truly believe that are so many beautiful things just waiting to happen, and take me by the hand, charm me and sway me off my feet, but what I feel right now, is happening at this very moment and I can't put myself into the idea of "life has so much ahead for you". im not exactly the "future thinking" kinda type, I really am not, I dont plan much, I'm impulsive, I live and breathe in the moment itself, I am not a fan of thinking about the future too much. I am excited about the future the possibilities it has, but I really go with the flow all my life. I can plan for tomorrow, next week, even next month but that is as far as I'll go, because I am afraid, afraid that I'll disappoint myself, I am afraid that I fall and break, I might not have the energy or capability to pull myself back up. I am afraid of things not going my way and you know damn well life is unfair, you dont always get what you want, that is why I hate planning, I let the universe take me where it wants to take me.
I am only 22 years old and I am already so done with life, yet again, I think all of these is just coming from somewhere the unstable emotions lie, I'd probably be back on my feet in a few weeks, just wait & see.
but what I do know is, I want to feel happy, I want to be content, I know happiness is not a constant emotion, it requires efforts but it is something I am willing to bet my ass on. so where do I see myself in 5 years? I have no fucking idea, and to be honest, I am okay with that, so what was the intention behind this post? just to let off my chest, so until next time my friends, stay hydrated.
sure buying a house, settling down with a family, having a stable income is all on the list but genuinely, I dont what am I doing with my life or where am I heading personally. how am I growing as a person? am I contributing any good to the people around me? and it could go on and on.
life is like a wheel they say, once you're up and then you're down, and its always turning,
giving everybody chance to feel at the top of the world today, and suddenly beneath the hole tomorrow, well fuck the wheel, why can't I sit on a stationary wheel, that way it won't have to move, and everybody could sit on top at all time.
maybe right now all of these thought are coming from a dark and emotional place, but I am not joking when I say I dont know where I see myself in 5 years time.
I want a lot of things, but its all blurry, and the destination I am heading towards, is constantly changing, my path is constantly evolving, either thats bad thing or a good thing, I dont even know. I know there's is so much opportunities that lie ahead of me, good things happen to those who take actions, and in my heart I truly believe that are so many beautiful things just waiting to happen, and take me by the hand, charm me and sway me off my feet, but what I feel right now, is happening at this very moment and I can't put myself into the idea of "life has so much ahead for you". im not exactly the "future thinking" kinda type, I really am not, I dont plan much, I'm impulsive, I live and breathe in the moment itself, I am not a fan of thinking about the future too much. I am excited about the future the possibilities it has, but I really go with the flow all my life. I can plan for tomorrow, next week, even next month but that is as far as I'll go, because I am afraid, afraid that I'll disappoint myself, I am afraid that I fall and break, I might not have the energy or capability to pull myself back up. I am afraid of things not going my way and you know damn well life is unfair, you dont always get what you want, that is why I hate planning, I let the universe take me where it wants to take me.
I am only 22 years old and I am already so done with life, yet again, I think all of these is just coming from somewhere the unstable emotions lie, I'd probably be back on my feet in a few weeks, just wait & see.
but what I do know is, I want to feel happy, I want to be content, I know happiness is not a constant emotion, it requires efforts but it is something I am willing to bet my ass on. so where do I see myself in 5 years? I have no fucking idea, and to be honest, I am okay with that, so what was the intention behind this post? just to let off my chest, so until next time my friends, stay hydrated.